Interesting Cast of Characters

Last week, here at the Dixie Belle, we were treated to an interesting cast of characters.  First there were a couple of our regulars.  Dr. Domestic Dispute, who wouldn't let me put any calls through to his room from his wife.  "We're fighting," he told me, "and I don't want to talk to her."  Which put me squarely in the middle since the wife called several times.

In a separate room was his assistant, Nurse Snatchit.  Every time she stays here, she takes pretty much everything that's not nailed down.  She doesn't drink our in-room coffee, but takes all packs as well as the cups.  She brings her own soap, but takes our wrapped soap.   We've stopped putting extra rolls of toilet paper in her room because out the door they go.

Mr. & Mrs. Stinky Feet were here for an entire fetid week.  Neither me nor Shegundela wanted to be the first one to open their door for housekeeping.  The shoes left in the room reeked so badly we couldn't inhale.  Shegundela sprayed the insides of all the shoes with OdoBan which is very effective usually but didn't make a dent in those stinky shoes.

The newlyweds were delightful.  Both well into their 70's, they spent an active week fishing and sightseeing.  She gave me 2 jars of her homemade fig preserves and they were absolutely the best preserves I ever tasted.

Then there was Mercedes Guy. Actually a friendly charming guy.  He introduced himself to me, shook my hand, told me he see me again in a couple of weeks and drove out of the parking lot in his black incredibly shiny ride.  I found out how he polished that baby when I discovered my formerly fluffy white bath towels a nasty shade of grey-black.

The pies de resistance was Drunk Harley Guy.  We live in the trailer attached to our office.  When we rehabbed the tin can, we turned the former living room into our master bedroom, so there's an exterior door not far from the foot of the bed.  We do have a gate, albeit unlocked, with a sign saying no entry, private area.  Anyhoo...I was awakened at 11:40 PM by pounding on my bedroom door. 

Rather confused, my first thought was that it might be the DH who could have misplaced his keys, so in my underwear, I thread my way through the maze of rooms to the front office window to check if there's a vehicle outside.  Seeing no vehicle, I go back to the bedroom which is pitch black because I don't want to turn on any interior lights. Someone is still pounding on my bedroom door.   In order to gather my thoughts, I thought I sat on the foot of the bed, but only one cheek made contact and I fell hitting my head, right ear and shoulder on the corner of the opening to the next room while my hip bone made contact with the floor.

Now I'm hurting, I'm bleeding and I'm really mad.  I throw on a robe and go back to my office to get my weapon out of the drawer.  By this time, the knocker has come to the front office door and started pounding again.  From the front desk, I can see a guy with straggly blond hair, a blue cut away T shirt and a lot of tats.  I rested my elbows on the front desk and aimed the gun directly at his head, absolutely ready to pull the trigger. 

The excitement pretty much ends here because he gave up after several minutes.  I had mixed emotions.  I was mad enough to blow his head off so it took another hour before I cooled off enough to go back to bed. 

Next morning  I found a very nice Harley parked out by the front fence.  When Shegundela came to work at 10 AM, she told the rest of the story.  Harley guy went through the fence to the house next door where she lives & pounded on her door.  She had her husband there, so they actually opened their door. Harley guy told her he was too drunk to drive his bike home, so she got dressed and drove him to a motel in town while telling him that he was very lucky that the Dixie Belle lady did not indeed blow his brains out.