He Wanted His Mommy

He arrived in a pick up truck with a big honkin' Harley in the bed.  For several days, he leathered up & took that ole Harley out on the road.  One day, he tells me he's feeling a little punky.  By the following day, this tough motorcycle dude was whining like a baby.  He never felt so sick in his entire life.  "Darn, you must have a bug." I said.  "You need to sleep it off & sweat it out." 


For days, every time he heard me or housekeeper K, he would drag himself out of bed to follow us around so he could describe every miserable symptom he was experiencing.  Now my kids can attest to the fact that I'm not exactly the sympathetic type and neither is K, so he was singing to the wrong choir.


A huge concern of his was that his Canadian vacation medical insurance would run out before he could get medical attention.  He actually wanted me to drive him to an emergency room.  #1, he didn't need an emergency room, #2, I wasn't letting anyone that infectious get in my car or that close to my own currently healthy personage. 


On the day his insurance was due to run out, he called his insurance company & was assured that he was covered.  "I need to go to the emergency room & can't drive," he tells me.  "Can you call me a cab or an ambulance?"  OMG, I'm thinking, but I do try for a cab.  No luck.  "If I take an ambulance, my insurance company will pay me back," he whines.  Well, I've been losing patience for a few days now & tell the dude that he would surely be embarassed if he went to the ER by ambulance.  "It's less than a 1/2 hour." I say.  "Trust me, you can drive it.  Just suck it up & do it."


"What should I do with my stuff in the room in case they keep me," he croaks.  "You'll be back," I assure him.  He made me call the emergency room to let them know he was coming.  They were as thrilled as I was.  After he left, I must admit, I had a second or two of doubt.  Wow, I'm thinking, if this guy is seriously sick, won't I look like a heartless bitch?


His truck was back in front of his room 4 1/2 hours later, so I was vindicated.  This morning before he left, he cornered me in the laundry room to whine about his insurance running out before his trip home.  "No problem," I say.  " You've got your antibiotics & will be fine."

He actually said to me, "What if I have an accident on the way home?"    Mommmmmy.................